Confessions of a loafing mom

School starts Monday. Last year I was relieved. This year I feel like I owe my daughters’ teachers’ an explanation. Or an apology.

Last year we did Summer reading.

This Summer we did Summer loafing (do you get a T-shirt for that? How about just a pillow?).
Last year we worked on our math skills during the break.

This Summer the closest we got to math was checking the SPF on the sunscreen and the depth markers on the pool.

Last year we did at least one science project that involved research on the internet, a notebook and a formal presentation.

This Summer we had a surprise biology lesson when we found out that the mouse we bought to replace Patches (who was lost in a recent cat vs mouse drama) was pregnant. Next we’ll have a marketing lesson as we try to find the mouselettes (or what ever you call baby mice) a new home without a reptile. I am not raising food here.

Oh well. One out of three isn’t bad, is it?

But I still feel terrible. I’ve been a terrible substitute teacher this Summer. All my lesson plans went out the window early. Every big idea has remained unchecked on the “keep ‘em ready for learning” checklist.

This is why any time I entertain the idea of exploring teaching as a possible career change, I feel lightheaded. I can’t stick to a grocery list, let alone a lesson plan. Sure we’re doing some late Summer cramming, but it’s likely to have the same result as any crash course. Lots of jumbled information swimming around in a sea of stuffed animals, bubble gum, and slightly damp towels.

So an extra shout out to our teachers who make up for those of us who have embraced summer vacation a little too fully. We promise to pick up the slack, help with homework, and try to encourage our kids to learn about something more than how to tell when a mouse is pregnant and not just fat.

By the way – anyone need a pet for his or her classroom? We’ve got a few to spare.