Heart Cath Date Set

Sierra's date for her cath procedure has been set (you can read about the procedure here).

We are praying that the wacky wrong way vein is just a teeny tiny coffee stirrer size one that we can just forget about.

If you are focusing prayers, then the magic number is 1.4. The Qp/Qs ratio they are looking for has to be under 1.5 (if you want to understand more about these ratios and what it's about you can read here or here).

The date for the procedure has been set for December 21st. There will be some things we have to do the day before and she may have to spend the night.

...

She's getting scared. I've talked her through it, put on my strongest face, acknowledged her fears, explained how it works and how this test is easy, very routine. She leans into my words and I hold her there, a rock against the winds that blow around us.

...

I have been doing really well, until yesterday. Then it hit me, when the nurse described the pre-test, the visit early in the morning, the waiting we'd have, it hit me like a freight train.

I feel ridiculously childish, all I can think is I don't want this to be happening, that I don't want to go through this again, I don't want to, I don't want to.

I broke down, and suddenly it was 1999 and I was holding her in the hospital the night before the surgery, the first surgery, as lost as a bird blown off course by a hurricane.

...

December 21st. I'll keep you updated and will live blog here on that date...

Thankful for the little things

The best thing about having kids is you find a whole different and bizarre number of things to be thankful for.

Clearly, like everyone, I’m profoundly thankful for friends and family and community. But there are all these little things that only kids bring to mind.

I'm thankful for my youngest daughter at last outgrowing tick tack toe, since it's been tough to feign enthusiasm for the game for a few years. We have moved on to hangman, which is much more fun now that she can spell. Previously in kindergarten it was tough to play hangman since letters were largely decorative and I was certainly “hung” many times by a random letter Y.

I'm thankful for the resale shop, without whom I'd be tempted to horde all my girls old holiday dresses. Instead I keep one or two (okay, three) for sentimental reasons, then pass on a dress fit for another princess.

I'm thankful for the resale shop because apparently I'm growing weeds here, both of whom outgrow clothes at a pace no reasonable budget can deal with.

I'm thankful for the high pitch squeals ringing out all over the house (inside voice? What inside voice?). Sometimes they hit notes that cause the dogs to howl. Sure these squeals would send many people diving under the table, but I love them because I recognize a good time when I hear it.

I'm thankful for the company of exhausted mom friends who I both marvel at and commiserate with. I never would have met them were it not for our children. Just when I think I can’t possibly get one more thing done, I’ll run into a mom who has figured out a short cut for me to try.

I'm thankful for sneakers that light up because they are way too fun to watch as my daughter runs down the hall, literally aglow.

I'm thankful for a car full of carolers because it's wonderful to sing with your daughters even if you really don't want to sing the twelve days of Christmas AGAIN.

I’m thankful for pepperoni and goldfish, a Prosapio snack staple which I don’t eat, but my daughters would wither away if I didn’t keep them in reach.

And most surprisingly, I’m thankful for the collapse at the end of the day where I realize that life is ridiculously full, and that tomorrow I’ll have energy for more.

Happy holidays to you and yours!