Two thumbs sideways

There’s nothing quite as torturous as having an 11 year old and a 7 year old describe a movie.

I had just managed to miss watching the “movie on TV” version of one of my girls’ favorite TV shows (it’s amazing what you can pull off with adequate advanced warning). It’s one of those shows with hopelessly inept parents and clever, if a bit goofy, children. You know, just like 99% of all kids’ programming.

Anyway, when I arrived home from my vital grocery store mission, which coincidentally took exactly 90 minutes, the children felt terrible that I had missed the ENTIRE movie. No matter how I assured them that I was fine and certainly there would be another opportunity to see the movie, or one with an identical plot, they insisted on telling me about it.

“So you know Alex?” said Mireya, our youngest. “She was in this place…”

“Don’t start there, start at the beginning,” insisted Sierra.

“The beginning? Like before the show?” Mireya looked confused.

“Let me tell her. So they make this wish,” started Sierra.

“Oh! Tell her about the rocks!” Mireya shouted

“I will. So she makes a wish…”

Already, I was lost. Bad sign. “She? Who’s she?”

Mireya suddenly started laughing. “It’s so funny!”

“What’s funny? The wish?” I asked.

“No, later with Justin.” She laughed again and Sierra started laughing too.

I laughed awkwardly, having no clue what was funny. “Okay, I’m confused. Who’s Justin?”

“Her brother,” said Sierra, still giggling. “And then they go to that place…”

Mireya jumped up. “Are you going to tell her about the parrot?”

“The one that turns into the girl later? Oh, yeah. But that’s at the end.”

I fought the urge to drop my head into my hands. “Maybe you can just tell me how it ends.”

Sierra shrugged. “Okay. The guy has the parrot, and he’s telling them where to go when… no, wait, did I tell you about the guy?”

Mireya jumped up from her seat, striking a pose. “I like Alex. Mommy, do you think I’m like Alex? I think I’m like her.”

“Her? Alex is a her?”

Sierra rolls her eyes. “Haven’t you been listening?”

“I think that’s the problem.”

I still have no idea what the movie was about. But I learned my lesson. Next time it will be less painful to just watch the movie.

Popcorn, anyone?