I Got Nothin'

I have no idea what to write about this week. I knew this would happen, when we’d finally have a fairly ordinary weekend and nothing funny would have happened and I’d be scrambling for something amusing to say.

Sure, there was the truck we saw pulling out of Bucee’s hauling a trailer loaded with about a dozen port a johns. Such a sight can never go by without comment amongst the Prosapio, of course, and we immediately started shouting out possible collective noun options – was that a passel of potties?  A jumble of johns? Or a port-a-posse?

Funny, sure. But trust me; a teetering trailer of toilets is not enough to build a column on.

Then there was the day when I realized that I can’t travel with another group of adults without resorting to embarrassing parenting behavior. I’m not just talking about throwing my arm out to keep someone safe when we come to a sudden stop, either (although that’s pretty bad). I’m talking about encouraging grown adults to use the “facilities” because it’s a long way to the next stop.

But that’s barely a paragraph! I’ve still got nothing!

Unless you count the time when we were in the checkout line and we were bantering with one another about something when suddenly Sierra stopped and looked at me and said “Do you ever notice that we are the only ones talking in check out lines?”

Yes, honey. Actually I have. Not that that stops us, apparently, much to the dismay of long suffering retail employees everywhere.

Then there’s the moment when I’m trying to write my column at the eleventh hour and in a total state of PANIC when some little person comes up because she hasn’t been able to sleep. And a tiny part of me is hoping something funny will come up while we’re trying to work through the things that have kept her up, fretting about band practice.

Nada! The entire experience was completely without value as humor column fodder! It’s all I can do to refrain from shouting WORK WITH ME, PEOPLE!

 Granted, we watched a couple of amusing YouTube videos, but what good was that? It’s not like anyone wants to read about the video where the woman laughs for five minutes because she’s making swishy faces with her computer program. But if you have a minute, you really should watch it, it was hysterical.

Because, frankly folks, I got nothing.