Signs of Mommyhood

There are many signs of motherhood.

Today you can tell I’m a mom because I have one green finger and one pink finger. This is what happens when you are dyeing a few more eggs on Saturday before Easter and those silly little scoop things fails to pick up the newly dyed egg from it’s vinegar scented bath. When I saw the look on my child’s face, the look that said “AAAAHHHH MY EGG IS FALLING,” I was forced to dive into action, leaving me slightly more colorful in the process.
Another sign of motherhood is goldfish debris. I don’t think I ever ate a goldfish cracker until I had children. Now I’m more aware of the level of the goldfish supply in our house than I am of the Dow Jones Industrial Average on Wall Street. I have to admit it comes in handy - f I’m ever not sure I’m in the right car, I just have to check for a slight crackery smell and the tell-tale orange fragments in the back seat.
My socks are another sign. Ever since I foolishly let my daughter raid my sock drawer, I have stopped having matching socks. This happens because I caved when I was in a hurry, and it was going to be dark, and who looks down anyway, and I wore the spotted one with the stripped one. That was it. It was over. Now I’m trapped in a perpetually mismatched sock laundry cycle. There’s no way out, short of buying new socks and hiding them in my purse. (By the way, I don’t recommend this approach because it’s awkward when you’re in the grocery check-out lane fumbling for your wallet, and the socks fall out. You know right then the clerk is wondering if they should alert security or simply look away. Consider yourself warned.)
Another sign of motherhood is the sheer number of things I carry out of the car every single time we get home from going anywhere. It’s as if an explosion goes off every time we get in the car. I can enter the car with two fairly small children and a purse, and moments later I’ll exit carrying three partially crumpled food bags, four water bottles, discarded shoes, a mismatched pair of socks, a book, and a small pile of broken goldfish.
Still, I wear the signs of motherhood proudly. After all, it’s the best part of my life in many ways. Although I have to confess, I’m glad sandal weather is right around the corner.