Today
you can tell I’m a mom because I have one green finger and one pink
finger. This is what happens when you are dyeing a few more eggs on
Saturday before Easter and those silly little scoop things fails to
pick up the newly dyed egg from it’s vinegar scented bath. When I
saw the look on my child’s face, the look that said “AAAAHHHH MY
EGG IS FALLING,” I was forced to dive into action, leaving me
slightly more colorful in the process.
Another
sign of motherhood is goldfish debris. I don’t think I ever ate a
goldfish cracker until I had children. Now I’m more aware of the
level of the goldfish supply in our house than I am of the Dow Jones
Industrial Average on Wall Street. I have to admit it comes in handy
- f I’m ever not sure I’m in the right car, I just have to check
for a slight crackery smell and the tell-tale orange fragments in the
back seat.
My
socks are another sign. Ever since I foolishly let my daughter raid
my sock drawer, I have stopped having matching socks. This happens
because I caved when I was in a hurry, and it was going to be dark,
and who looks down anyway, and I wore the spotted one with the
stripped one. That was it. It was over. Now I’m trapped in a
perpetually mismatched sock laundry cycle. There’s no way out,
short of buying new socks and hiding them in my purse. (By the way, I
don’t recommend this approach because it’s awkward when you’re
in the grocery check-out lane fumbling for your wallet, and the socks
fall out. You know right then the clerk is wondering if they should
alert security or simply look away. Consider yourself warned.)
Another
sign of motherhood is the sheer number of things I carry out of the
car every single time we get home from going anywhere. It’s as if
an explosion goes off every time we get in the car. I can enter the
car with two fairly small children and a purse, and moments later
I’ll exit carrying three partially crumpled food bags, four water
bottles, discarded shoes, a mismatched pair of socks, a book, and a
small pile of broken goldfish.
Still,
I wear the signs of motherhood proudly. After all, it’s the best
part of my life in many ways. Although I have to confess, I’m glad
sandal weather is right around the corner.
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