Sierra's date for her cath procedure has been set (you can read about the procedure here).
We are praying that the wacky wrong way vein is just a teeny tiny coffee stirrer size one that we can just forget about.
If you are focusing prayers, then the magic number is 1.4. The Qp/Qs ratio they are looking for has to be under 1.5 (if you want to understand more about these ratios and what it's about you can read here or here).
The date for the procedure has been set for December 21st. There will be some things we have to do the day before and she may have to spend the night.
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She's getting scared. I've talked her through it, put on my strongest face, acknowledged her fears, explained how it works and how this test is easy, very routine. She leans into my words and I hold her there, a rock against the winds that blow around us.
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I have been doing really well, until yesterday. Then it hit me, when the nurse described the pre-test, the visit early in the morning, the waiting we'd have, it hit me like a freight train.
I feel ridiculously childish, all I can think is I don't want this to be happening, that I don't want to go through this again, I don't want to, I don't want to.
I broke down, and suddenly it was 1999 and I was holding her in the hospital the night before the surgery, the first surgery, as lost as a bird blown off course by a hurricane.
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December 21st. I'll keep you updated and will live blog here on that date...
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